Manners matter. Here’s a story about that.
When I first started in publishing, I worked with an elderly agent who was from the South. He was extremely successful in his day. His clients called him The Count. He had impeccable southern manners. Some of them were old-fashioned, but they were elegant and always appreciated. He never raised his voice, never resorted to sarcasm or insults, and he got fantastic deals for his authors.
Then an author accused him of being too nice with publishers. The author snarked that the agent went to publishers “hat in hand”. How do you think the agent responded to that?
He said, “Yes, I always do go hat in hand. Courtesy is not dead.”
This story speaks for itself. Authors sometimes have the idea that it is necessary for an agent to be nasty, and to go into meetings sword in hand. That is a very naïve view. While yes, agents must be strong, passionate, have good arguments and be prepared, there is no need to do all of that with rudeness. Rudeness is a turnoff, and it’s a sign of weakness. A strong, confident agent doesn’t stoop to that level.
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